Are we really half-way through??

Sam here again. There are still some things that I miss about the US but life here has become so ordinary that most of them don't come to mind much anymore. For example, when I see a new picture of Diesel or chat with my friends I feel a little bit of a yearning to go back to the States, but for the most part I really do not want to return. I like living in an apartment in a city along with the slight bit of freedom it gives me, and I have really fallen in love with our little school MEF. I can’t quite put a finger on why but there is just something majestically intriguing about Turkey to me. I no longer miss TV, something I thought I could physically not live without a couple months ago. The only thing I would use TV for would be to watch sports but just watching the highlights online can fulfill even that craving.

I am at the point where I no longer notice new things at such a great rate. Izmir doesn’t seem like a new place anymore and I think more about how I wish my new friends lived in Alsencak (downtown) with me rather than how much I can't wait to go back to the US. Every time I contemplate the thought of going back I feel a huge pang of sadness hit me in the gut, because I really just do not want to leave. I beg every which way to finish out the year with my new friends, or try to find a way to come out to Izmir this summer. And as our Turkish language ability slowly inches up to the point where communication is no longer super frustrating (either that or we have just gotten really good at indicating what we want with our hands) communicating doesn't seem nearly as difficult. There are things at school that I wish I could look forward to like the MEF Idol or even just the end of the year, but I know I am only going to be there for another two months.

One morning I came out of my room and just sat down and grabbed an iPod which happened to be Zach’s. I was looking through his apps and I found the “How many days until Christmas” app and I remembered looking at it almost everyday during the last 3 months till Christmas last year. This time when it said 63 days left I felt crestfallen, because 63 days just seemed so fleeting in comparison to the 5 months that we originally set out for. Of course I know we will probably be in Izmir for another 10-20 days after that, but those last 10 days are going to be filled with hectic confusion including packing and ending our extended vacation. To me it feels almost like one of those super corny movies, where the main character sets out to do something that will benefit him and never really considers what will happen as he does that thing. He then becomes attached to that new temporary life which was taken on for a completely separate reason. I came to Turkey originally to have an adventure, but also so that I could go back to the U.S. as a more mature freshman, but instead I have become attached to the point where I don’t want to go back period. Having fresh bread in our house, being allowed to go down to the little store across the street and get myself a soda and candy bar, or just living next to the sea, seem like automatics now, but in the lifestyle we live back in the U.S. that would never happen. Where in Lower Merion would ever find perfectly fluffed fresh bread every day of the week? How could a kid go about doing anything without his parent driving him there? Now this is not exactly a fair example because our parents have put quite a few miles on our rental Doblo here, but I do have a certain measure of freedom that would never be granted in Lower Merion. And who in Philadelphia can drive to the shore in less than a minute? So although the U.S. is a great place and I would not mind going back and seeing all my friends again or watching a game of football, in the end I would end up back in Izmir.