Sam's Take on Driving w/ Mom

Yes I do realize that dad is in fact in the car, but I just want to
give you an idea of what we're working with.

         I would like to talk about our road trip adventures with mother. As you have heard we have a Fiat Doblo with the horsepower of a lap dog, and brakes that are jealous of Toyota, which was being driven by a very very very careful mother. We have a game that we play every morning on our way to school where we add points for passing cars but then subtract points for cars that pass us. This game, would have ended somewhere near -100 had we not pulled the plug early, and even while applying her best score we ended at -2. That was on our highway drive to school, however in the city in which people will jump in front of your car as soon as you think about slowing down the car came to lurching halts so frequently that we were turned into human bobble-heads. Whenever we said something to the affect of “you have to be a little more aggressive” we heard that “there is nothing wrong with being cautious” or “look at these streets, they are shiny I need to have plenty of time to stop” or most commonly “shhhhh stop talking and let me drive”.